Day Dreaming

Today, I have to focus on three papers that are due this Friday, normal everyday cleaning, cooking etc, and two sweetie pie kids that need attention. But, I keep finding myself day dreaming about other things. For instance, we're heading to Florida soon and I just keep picturing myself on the coast, feeling the cool ocean breeze and the rush of salt water on my feet. Gotta stop day dreaming gotta stop day dreaming! Oops, here I go again!!

Something Wonderful

Often, as a mom, I question whether my choice to stay home and raise our kids was worth the emotional turmoil that goes on in my own head. Sometimes, I think about the "what if's" in my life. What if I had

done my college years differently? What if I had a great job somewhere? What if? What if? Then something wonderful happens. Through the noise of kids arguing and my own doubts running crazy in my head, I hear my two year old son yell, "MOMMM!" Yep, that's all it takes. I am a mom. The little moments of sweetness that fill my life would not be possible if I worked in a skyscraper somewhere. The flowers (i.e. weeds) that my son brings me would not collect in a cup by the sink if I had done life differently. My four year old daughter who still struggles with being a "big girl" and not a "little tiny mommy's baby" makes me smile when she cheerily sings "Jingle Bells" in the shower...in April. Those little moments collect and blossom into...something wonderful.

Alright, I'm just going to say it...

I'm lonely.

Yes, I the Army strong "power of one" wife and mother is admitting...I'm feeling lonely.

This one statement seems so hard for wives to admit. Maybe it's guilt. Maybe it's denial. Maybe it's worry over being ridiculed. I really don't know why it's so hard for women to admit it.

My sense is that it's a combination of lots of things...for example. If you're a military wife, or wife of someone who travels frequently, you're often corrected if you admit to being lonely while your husband is gone. Why is that?

I have had some very good friends tell me that because I told them that I was lonely, I was ADMITTING weakness. Well, let me tell you "strong women" something. It's OKAY to be weak. It's OKAY to cry. It's OKAY to have a day that you don't even feel like you can drag yourself out of bed.

I am SICK of being told that showing weakness in unacceptable. It's not.

It's real life. It's real people with real feelings.

Get off of your high horse and find someone else to correct and belittle.
This girl is OKAY with being herself even if it means showing some weakness.;)

"We have educated ourselves into idiocy"

I heard someone say this and I honestly wondered if this is even possible.

I was kind of shocked to hear this statement from someone who is near and dear to me. They are against accredited college education and vpk.

This especially struck me because I'm currently in the process of signing up for a college education that is accredited because my "college degree" that I have already is worth nothing in the "real world".

Mostly this blog is for some opinions. I don't know if anyone even sees this, but I thought it was worth a shot.

Oh, and by the way, when someone tells you what they want to do in life...don't laugh. Especially if you're their parent.

Jensen man is ONE!

The proof is in the cake on this one. He demolished his oversized, banana (his fave) stuffed cupcake.

What an incredible boy he is. He's attempting to walk on his own; with his hands on the furniture or walls, he is as fast as can be. Finding his voice, has been the biggest accomplishment as of late. I often have Emma telling me what he is trying to "yell", and encouraging her to let him talk. "But, Mommy, he is so loud!"

Yes, Jensen is loud. He has not learned that there is a volume at which humans communicate, or that the same sound for different things (happy, sad, mad) doesn't get the point across.

Our sweet girl is three

It's very hard to believe that our baby girl is three. This picture was taken a month after her birthday at her "Party #2" when her grandparents came to visit.

She has brought so much joy into our lives. Everyday she amazes me with how smart and how compassionate she is.

I'm enjoying her at this age, but it is proving to be unchartered territory. Jensen is the "easy" one right now. ;)

"Mommy, you have a big mouth."

"Thanks, sweetheart."

My wonderful three year old daughter said this to me this morning. Hmmm....how do you react to that?!

One thing I remember distinctly from childhood, was the Halloween that I said, "Dad, you're a smart alec." I got a spanking. (this was obviously some time ago when discipline was at the discretion of the parent and not the state.)

I will never forget that day. I was four and I meant it as a compliment. I really thought that I was telling my dad, in an important way, how smart he was.

I promised myself at a very young age that I would give my kids the benefit of the doubt (well, not in those words)...basically, I would believe my kids. I told my dad that day that I didn't know what it meant...spanking anyway.

Parents are given 1,000 battles a day. Choose them wisely. Listen. Try to understand where your kids are coming from.

I know that Emma did not mean what she said in a negative way.

And quite, frankly, yep, I have a big mouth. ;)